I honestly believe that if companies made their stuff in purple, it would fly off the shelves. Why? Because people who LOVE purple are seriously obsessed with purple. (Can you tell?) I go out of my way to find stuff in purple. Even if I don’t need said object, if it comes in purple, I’ll buy it. I am the EASIEST person to shop for at Christmastime. Last year a coworker bought me two bags of this purple sparkly straw crap that you use to fill gift bags with – I was fascinated for hours.
People who like the color red or green don’t openly admit their love for the color. You never see anyone walking down the street with a yellow cell phone, a yellow purse, yellow wallet, yellow coat and yellow shoes on. And yes, I spent $250 just to get a $&#(*&)! purple cell phone. (You can too, dammit, click here.) Orange.com has absolutely nothing to do with the color orange, but try www.purple.com. It makes little sense, but does it really need to? There is no, as far as I know, Brown-licious store in New York. There is, however, Purple-Licious, located at 89 South Street Seaport, Pier 17. There is no bluestore.com to satisfy your cerulean needs, unlike www.purplestore.com, where everything there is purple. (Sidenote: GNOMG, Lothiriel is going to be so sorry, but I just discovered their “A Purple Wedding” Link)
So WTF. Why then, doesn’t Dell make their new Inspiron laptop line to include the color purple? I just bought a new laptop from Alienware, and you can bet your life I would have bought a laptop from Dell instead if they had friggin’ made a purple Inspiron laptop. But no. They went lamesauce and made it in every other color. BROWN? What? Who is gonna buy it in brown? (If you did, let me know. And I am sorry.)
Which brings me full circle to where I was going in the first place. When the iPod craze first came out in 2001, they started in white. Then they did black. Then pink. (Companies seem to assume that making everything in pink and blue will satisfy customer desire…that’s another tangent for later. WTF.) And through all the iPod generations, never purple. I also never had the desire to purchase an iPod either to begin with – I don’t have time to listen to those things – if I’m in the car I use my Sirius radio (I don’t care what you say Loth, I love it.), if I’m at work I go to Yahoo! Music, and if I’m at home, well, the music gets blasted from my stereo or my laptop. So where does an iPod fit in my life? Nowhere. Yeah the argument is, I can use it at the gym (ha ha) – but the last time I was in the gym was a few months ago, and I only like going to the classes anyway, so my head can’t be plugged in because I need to hear the instructor tell me when to kick. Plus, my previous non-purple cell phone was the Motorola SLVR - which pretty much had a built in iPod (waiting for that to come in purple…it’s already in pink. There goes that pink thing again!) Add that to my long-standing I-dun-lieks-Apple mantra, and you have an iPod-less chick. Which, for the last 6 years, never ceased to shock people. Poor Loth, I think he’s been itching to buy me an iPod for whatever reason for so many years now too. But I swore that I would never ever purchase an iPod unless it came in purple. That would be the breaker for me. And six years quietly went by without a purple iPod in sight (SNAP-ON COVERS DON’T COUNT!). But the day has finally arrived.
I am the proud, albeit confused, new owner of a purple iPod shuffle. It’s been sitting in my purse, unopened, unscratched, since last Thursday. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.
But it’s really shiny and pretty and purple. And that’s what counts.
Who knew I could talk so long about purple?
